Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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