Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
