She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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