ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
