How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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