1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
