just come out here and I will go home with you...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
