high people should be assigned attendants
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize