11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
