Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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