your parents love me but you hate me
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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