Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
