drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
it hurts more in the daytime
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
