So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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