I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
