very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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