i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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