so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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