hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
How naked do you want me to be?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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