It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
