I can tuck mytits in my pants
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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