Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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