I'm really into asian looking animals
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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