Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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