Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
