You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Your topless pictures make me question reality
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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