I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
