I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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