David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i think i just lost a toe
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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