May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
