I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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