I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
