no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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