why didn't you poke me back
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
