with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
