Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
