Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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