she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
