what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
