Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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