thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize