You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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