if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
