my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
