1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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