Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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