She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Semen is not good for contacts.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
