I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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