the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
