Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
