I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
