We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize