Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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