oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
