You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
