Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
