Are we in a gay sports bar?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Randomize
