And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize