CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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