Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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