dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
