I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Dignity is for republicans.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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