Screwed.edu
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
