Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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