He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
God gave him joint rollers for hands
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
